Sometimes when I tell the story of my blood clots and clotting disorder I become a little uneasy. The last few days have been that way so I decided that this post will be a break from all that and I will share a song that I wrote in high school after I had the blood clots in my lungs. Later on I will return to telling my story but for now I truly do want to share this with my readers.

Music has always been a huge part of my life, and as I mentioned in an earlier post, when I found out the clots were in my lungs my very first question was if I would ever be able to sing again.

It took a long time for me to work my lungs back up to where they were, and though they will never be 100% that hasn’t stopped me from continuing my passion for music.

I didn’t have a ton of friends in high school because after the clots I was diagnosed with PTSD. This made it difficult for me to make proper connections in my brain and caused me to feel extremely distant from my peers. I threw myself into my music at this point and from that came the thing that I am proud of the most, my song.

I’ve sung this song for many close friends and even in front of a few crowds, but each time it takes every piece of courage that I can find because of how raw and personal the lyrics are to me. So here it is, the most difficult yet beautiful time of my life put into words.

 

ALL I CAN

Verse 1:

On the corner of whether to run or or die,

I met an angel there

And she saved my life.

Said take my hand, I’ll never let you drown.

I found God that day.

And from then on out,

 

Chorus:

I take my time to watch the flowers bloom

And when I leave the room,

I say I love you too.

It takes time to want to live again

But I’m holding on,

Ive been holding on.

All I can,

All that I can.

 

Verse 2:

The rain will pour down onto your hair

And you’ll never think you’ll see the sun again.

But you just wait, your life has just begun.

Oh you’ll see the sun,

You’ll be the sun.

 

Chorus:

I take my time to watch the flowers bloom

And when I leave the room,

I say I love you too.

It takes time to want to live again

But I’m holding on,

Ive been holding on.

All I can,

All that I can.

 

Verse 3:

If you’re listening, I’d like to teach you this:

Life is short, time won’t forgive.

 

Chorus:

I take my time to watch the flowers bloom

And I leave the room

I say I love you too.

It takes time to want to live again,

But I’m holding on,

Ive been holding on.

All I can,

All that I can.

 

I wish that I had a proper video or recording of the song to share, but unfortunately I don’t. If anyone would like to hear it however, I would love to record and upload it.